Don't mention beer on your first visit....
Skeptics are often very honest. They are honest with an intensity, that only those used to being accused of having no reason to be honest, are. Fighting against any stereotype can be a heavy burden. The stereotype here is that many skeptics are atheist, and atheists have no moral code or fear of a God. Because of this lack of moral accountability, they lie as much as it suits them.
Skeptics are also honest as they tend to deal with fact and reason. The impulse to lie for a self centered reason or emotion is not critical thinking. Most skeptics I know are able to work out that a lie can only lead to more lies, and in the end it is in our self interest to be as honest as possible. This isn't to say that a skeptic doesn't know the answer to the question Does this dress make me look fat? is always an emphatic no!
But there are lies of omission. There is simply choosing what to disclose. There is waiting until the right time to talk about somethings. There is preparing someone for the next bit of information, giving them a bit of time to adjust their thinking to what you have given them.
The well known joke about the cat on the roof is a case in point. A woman calls her husband who is on a long business trip and tell him your cat fell off the roof and died. The husband is very upset. He tells the wife it was too hard for him to hear such terrible news all at once. He let's her know that what she should have done was in the first phone call say "oh the cat is on the roof." Her next phone call would be t"he cat fell off the roof !" and the next phone call "I'm so sorry, you cat died."The next day the husband calls home and his wife says "Your grandmother is on the roof."
What can skeptics learn from that joke? Well we can learn what many religious groups have learned already. I have good friends that are Mormons. They are lovely people and their son is going on a mission. I took a peek at a book that offered recommendations for converting people. One story that really struck me was about a couple of young Mormon men that were in Germany. One young missionary was talking with the German family and was informing them that they would have a closer family life, that they would find peace and a welcoming Mormon community of friends all the good stuff. The other Mormon missionary was quiet until the German family offered them beer! BEER! The missionary was blunt, "if you become a Mormon you not be able to drink BEER! " The young men were quickly shown the door. The one Mormon said to his rather blunt fellow missionary, "We didn't have to drink the beer, but NEVER mention no drinking beer at a first meeting! "
In a way, skeptics sometimes need to not mention the beer right away.
What do I mean by this? Well, a skeptic often like to start speaking of a specific topic, say UFOs. A skeptic can convince someone that yes, UFOs are not aliens visiting from another planet. But, rather than take that little victory, they take an all or nothing approach. Because a skeptic will sometimes go on to another topic. Not only are UFOs not real, but let's go on to Bigfoot! And don't forget the biggest topic of all for controversy, God.
click to read part 2
